Since the start of the New Year, I’ve been working on doing more of what I love, more of what brings me joy, self-care and self-love for my overall well-being. Journaling is something I’ve often started but never kept up with. I don’t have a good reason for it. When I think about it, I really enjoy writing – always have! Setting a timer and just writing for even 20 minutes to get it all out feels great (a “brain dump” if you will). Getting everything off my chest in relation to whatever the topic is at the time. So, I’ve been journaling a bit more since January and now want to share those thoughts on the blog. It’s for me, but it could also be for you. I’ll leave you with the same prompt that I work from and you can choose to journal on it if you like.
Prompt: What is your biggest struggle with loving yourself?
Sometimes, I feel like I’m all over the place. I can go from feeling really good about myself; the way I look or my style, the way I take care of my well-being through physical activity, nutrition, self-care… I’ll see the progress I’ve made within myself over the years and then, it flips!
All of a sudden, I’m thinking about the way others view themselves, the way they post on social media. I watch people say they don’t care about things like weight gain, while simultaneously commenting on the weight they’ve gained. Doesn’t that mean they must care? I let it get to me. I then create my own narrative where “I don’t care” but in a way I know I still do. It’s frustrating.
It’s a never-ending cycle that’s so hard to break out of!
Is self-love all the time unrealistic? At any given moment, it would seem like there are a million voices that I could listen to. From media outlets to television shows, social platforms, friends, family, coworkers and everyone in between. Did I mention myself? How do you turn it all off so that you can hear only what you think? Better yet, once it’s “off”, how do you know what you’re thinking is your thought and not what you’ve been influenced into believing?
I know people might say that it’s all about the environment you create for yourself, who you follow, and who you allow in your inner social circle. Quite frankly, it’s not that simple. Don’t get me wrong, I have noticed a huge difference in some ways, specifically social media and following accounts that fill what I need without just being extra noise, or creating negative self-talk/thoughts on my end.
But, it’s not that simple for everything…
It’s that I want to love myself – and I do – but in a full-time complete capacity without the negative self-talk or the questioning of how to be better, look better, act better, when life gets in the way. You know what I mean? So, I guess that’s my biggest struggle. Figuring out the whole self-love thing without the pressure I typically put on myself in fear of failing. Wanting to love myself in the purest way – without the bullshit.